hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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