He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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