well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
