wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
