i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
