OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
