Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
