I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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