i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
