He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
