I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
