How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
