What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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