Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
