We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
