I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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