# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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