I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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