Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i dont even know how to be here
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
