This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
