Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
