home. puking in laundry basket.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
