Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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