I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
