i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
