Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
whose parrot is this?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
