Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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