yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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