never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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