We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
