Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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