I need help removing her.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
