Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
