I just made out with a guy for $7.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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