Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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