youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
