I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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