How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
