she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
