This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
