just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
