Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
