if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I will pee on everything he values.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
