I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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