she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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