I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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