You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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