I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
