I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
