Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
