i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
