the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
