he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
